TAMISHO - My Story. My Life (24)

My Mother In Law's Recovery, Richard Meets Shadda, And The END.

“So what do you think of the new manager?”

“He looks quite efficient.”

Richard’s laughter is a delicious sound in my ears. “What has looks got to do with anything?”

I can’t help smiling in response. “I tend to read people just by looking at them.”

I kick myself for that response. The last thing I want to talk about is supernatural abilities or entities with Richard.

“That reminds me,” Richard says, amid some rustling in the background. “You have not told me who Shadda is.”

I bite my lower lip, throw my head back and consider the ceiling for some minutes. Can I tell him about Shadda without talking about other things….like reading minds?

“Tamisho?”

“Yes Richard.”

“Who is Shadda?”

I am still thinking of the right answer to give Richard when he says,

"Is this Shadda, a spirit?"

My tongue stubbornly clings to the roof of my mouth, refusing to move.

"Tamisho?" Richard's cheerful chuckle dispels my fear. "I am not blind to your powers, but I have a feeling there is more. So let's start with Shadda. Is it some kind of spirit?"

"Yes Shadda is a spirit."

A short pause and I lift my left hand to my mouth and nervously bite the tips of my middle fingernail. 

"Tell me more about this spirit."

I abandon my finger biting and begin to talk about Shadda. Everything I have held back from Richard comes tumbling out. I tell him of Shadda's many visits to the house. How she played nanny when I was finding it hard to embrace motherhood. Her quirky sense of humour, her stories about other guides and the higher realms. Encouraged by Richard's silence and the intermittent chuckling coming from him every now and then, I talk about Shadda’s camaraderie with my reflection.

"That explains it."

In that second, I realize that Richard does not know anything about my reflection but it is too late because he is talking about it right now...

"...I was looking into the mirror and I remember seeing that there was something different about your reflection."

Richard has more questions for me about my reflection. He is intrigued by the fact that my reflection can be independent.

"So she can do whatever she wants when you release her?"

"Yes."

Interesting."

I smile, feeling incredibly light for sharing this part of my life with Richard.

"Can you...like...release her this evening when we get home?"

The picture of Richard meeting my reflection makes my smile grow wider. "Yes I will."

"Great."

I hear the voice of Richard's secretary in the background. There is a short exchange and Richard comes back on the phone.

"I have a visitor."

"Oh."

"Got to go now."

"Okay. See you later."

With a blissful sigh, I drop the phone back on the table and reflect on our lives since Jude and Tokunbo's exit from it. The average built woman that has taken Tokunbo's position is soft spoken with a pleasant personality that is endearing. Even Rita, my secretary is taken by her. I think of Richard’s mother and can not help feeling a little sad. From the conversation between Richard and his father, I have learned of how badly the cancer has ravaged my mother in law’s body. It was surprising to learn that she had been battling with the disease long before I saw her in the dream that night several weeks ago. I remember the articles I read the night before about the disease my mother in law is suffering from.

Ovarian cancer is a frightening disease for older women and it frustrates their health care professionals. Why? Most ovarian cancer develops after menopause; half of ovarian cancers are found in women older than age 65. And only 24 percent of ovarian cancers are diagnosed at an early stage, when the disease is confined to the ovary. When cares are diagnosed after the cancer has spread to the other parts of the body, it is difficult to treat successfully. For these reasons, Ovarian cancer is the most fatal of all cancers involving a woman’s reproductive tract.

The sound of Shadda’s approach breaks my chain of thought and I look towards the window, waiting for her to walk through. In a few seconds, she steps into my view and I groan inwardly when I see that she is in white.

“Don’t tell me you are here to fight another –“

“Not really.”

My mouth falls open just as I am beginning to ask Shadda the reason for her somber look. Another figure in white is stepping from behind her. Richard’s mother.

My throat is suddenly parched as I turn to Shadda. “What is happening?”

Shadda sighs and throws one arm around Richard’s mother who is looking at me in a rather strange manner. It is almost as if she cannot recognize me. I watch her move her gaze around the office and begin to float in a rather bizarre way to the conference table. For the first time since the shadows visited Toju’s nursery, I feel raw fear, coupled with sorrow. A part of me knows what is happening, but I desperately want to be wrong.

Shadda is watching me closely, the shadow of a sad smile on her lips.

“Is she dead?”

Shadda shrugs, saying nothing and then walks to meet Richard’s mother at the far end of the office. My mother in law or the person supposed to be her, turns to look at Shadda with that little girl lost look I am beginning to grow familiar with. I am witness to the silent communication that takes place between them and Richard’s mother reaches to brush her fingertips against the surface of the table, watching her own actions in wonder.

“Shadda!”

Shadda turns back to me, the sad smile now replaced with a real smile.

“Yes?”

My eyes still on the wraith-like figure ahead of me, I place my hands on the edge of the table and lean towards Shadda. “Is she dead?”

“What do you think?”

“Shadda,” I whisper more urgently. “I can’t think right now. I just need to know.”

Shadda sighs and crosses her hands against her chest. “She is caught between two realms.”

I stand up from my chair on shaky feet and walk round my desk, passing Shadda as I make for the door. I know Shadda knows where I am going. My panicked thoughts are not hidden from her. I have to let Richard know.

                                          *******************************************

I knock once on Richard’s door and push it open. At first I think the office is empty until I see him standing by the window, one hand in his pocket and his blackberry in the other hand. There is an audible click on when I close the door but Richard appears not to hear it.

“Hey,” I say softly as I approach him. No answer. I quicken my steps towards him, all thoughts of telling him of his mother’s struggle with her life disappearing as I wonder why he is so still. I am beside him in no time.

“Richard?”

He turns towards me, his eyes unfocused and in pain. I look at his blackberry in suspicion. Something tells me he has heard the news of his mother’s condition. I cannot get any information from his mind because it is blank at that moment.

“The chemotherapy had been going well....” Richard tells me, his voice raw with emotion. I take a step closer and place a comforting hand on his arm.

“Your dad called?”

Richard nods and then continues. “Dad said she slipped into coma four hours ago.”

“I am sorry.”

“But her heart stopped beating an hour ago.”

I close the space between us and wrap my arms around him. “I am so sorry.”

Richard remains unresponsive for a while and then he exhales slowly and holds me tight against him. I don’t know how long we stand there, before his window, in each other’s arms but it feels like eternity. I am moving my right hand in downward strokes against his back when Shadda strolls into the office. I stiffen, expecting to see my mother in law behind her but she is alone, and she is no longer wearing the white dress that means business. In the place of the white dress is a brown knee length dress with three quarter sleeves and a round neckline with frills running down the middle.

“Hi,” Shadda says, giving me a cheerful wave and sitting in Richard’s chair. “ Aren't you two the sweetest mortals alive?”

What are you doing here?

Shadda gives me a surprised look. “Checking up on my charges?”

Where is Richard’s mother?

Shadda throws her feet over Richard’s table and admire her suede black pumps. She finally looks up to smile at me.

“Gone.”

Gone?

Shadda rolls her eyes and sighs. “Yes.”

Oh God!

“Tamisho, she is gone back to your material realm, not the immaterial realm.”

My smile is cautious as I eye Shadda above Richard’s shoulders.

What happened? I thought she was dead.

“I told you she was floating between the two realms.”

I am so happy.

Shadda smiles. “It is but for a while. In the end, you all return.” Shadda picks up Richard’s fountain pen and studies it. “Besides, there is a reason why your mother in law’s soul was returned to her body.”

What reason?

Shadda shrugs, her brows furrowing in concentration as she continues to study the pen in her hand.

“I don’t know. I am only a messenger. The ones who stand before the light just pass instructions down to us.”

I smile and feel the tears of relief gather in my eyes. Richard and his mother get a second chance. I pull back from Richard’s embrace and look up at him. I can see through the storm in his eyes that he is still fighting for control.

“Your mother is not dead.”

Richard stares at me for long minutes before finding his speech again.

“She is not dead?”

“Yes.”

Just as Richard’s left eyebrow is going up in question, his blackberry begins to ring. Richard looks down at his phone and back at me.

“Go on, pick it.”

His eyes still on me, Richard presses down the answer button.

“Hello?”

I wait, my eyes drifting to Shadda who is now occupied with Richard’s laptop.

“She came out of coma?”

There is surprise and then relief before Richard hangs his head and closes his eyes. Again, I walk back to him and hold him close as the conversation with his father continues above my head.

Thank you.

Shadda looks at me in confusion. “What for? I am not responsible for decisions like these.” She pauses to give me a wink. “I am but a lowly messenger. You should thank God.”

The call ends and Richard pulls me away to plant a happy kiss on my lips.

“She came back,” he says, his eyes full of wonder when he steps away to take my hand and lead me to the sofa at the other end of the office. “My dad says the doctors think it is miracle.”

I sit beside Richard and we begin to talk about cancers, miracles and everything in between. Finally, he looks at me in curiosity.

“How did you know about my mum?”

This time there will be no lies. “Shadda told me.”

Just then, Shadda is giving me a bright smile and a half bow. I smile at her. Richard follows my eyes to his desk.

“What are you smiling at?”

“Shadda.”

Richard’s eyes narrow as he inclines his head, studying his desk. Shadda stops pulling out the piece of paper she is trying to retrieve from under the stack of papers at the right end of Richard’s desk.

“Now he wants to see me,” she says with an amused smile.

Richard looks back at me. “I wish I could see this Shadda person.”

“Spirit,” I correct with a laugh.

Richard nods. “Yeah, spirit.”

I look at Shadda. “So when are you going to make yourself visible to him?”

Shadda leans on the table and taps her chin thoughtfully. “Maybe later.”

I take my attention back to Richard. “She says, later.”

Richard shakes his head, the amusement still in his eyes. “It is kind of spooky hearing you talk to an empty chair.”

I promise him it will be less spooky when he meets Shadda. I am soon inundated with several questions and they are all about Shadda, the spirit realm and my reflection. We talk into the evening until Richard decides to call his driver.



                                          *****************************************



Richard is standing, shirt sleeves rolled to his elbow and hands in his pockets as he watches me. I give him a flirty smile before turning to the mirror. I perform the chant silently and blink at my reflection.

“Hi.”

I turn to Richard to judge his reaction as my reflection links her hands and blinks shyly at him. His hands are now out of his pockets and his head cocked to one side. He manages to raise one hand in a wave.

“Hello.”

My reflection turns to Richard’s own reflection and walks over to throw her arms around him. Richard looks on, bewildered and yet amused.

“We meet at last,” my reflection says, walking back to stare at Richard with a wide smile now.

“You are Tamisho?”

I cross my arms against my chest and wait for the rebuttal that usually follows those words, but I am surprised when my reflection begins to nod.

“Yes,” she says with a slight shrug, and then leans on her countertop with a mischievous smile for Richard. “An improved version.”

Richard forgets the strangeness of the situation and throws back his head in laughter. My reflection and I enjoy the sound of his mirth for as long as it lasts.

“You certainly sound different.”

“Thank you.”

I make a face at my reflection and she gives me a sweet smile, still preening under Richard’s admiration. Richard on his part is completely taken with the fact that my reflection can be independent of me.

“It is almost surreal,” he says, dragging me close so that we are standing hip to hip. “I feel like I am in a twilight zone or something.”

After an additional ten minutes of animated talking and laughing over nothing, I am happy to return my reflection back to her submissive state with a sigh.

“She is really different,” Richard says with a chuckle as we leave the bathroom. In the bedroom, he asks about Shadda again. I make him sit down in his sofa and then let him watch me call Shadda up. Before the last words of the chant leave my mouth, Shadda appears and my mouth hangs open.

“Hello,” the handsome man standing opposite greets with a slight nod. “You called me.”

I look up at the man, trying to take in his red button down shirt, black slacks and baritone voice.

“Shadda?”

“Yes, that is my name I think,” Shadda says, eyes twinkling beneath the full bushy eyebrows that wriggle at me. She or he turns to Richard with a smile.

“Hello Richard.”

To his credit, Richard is calm considering the nature of Shadda’s entry. He studies Shadda as if trying to recollect something.

“I thought you were a woman.”

Shadda’s chuckle is deep and somewhat melodious. “Guides are neither male or female and can appear in any form they choose.”

Richard gives an absent minded nod as I walk to the bed to sit down.

“I feel like I have seen you before, but I am not sure where.”

“We used to be such good friends Richard,” Shadda says with a smile full of nostalgia and fondness. “You used to talk to me a lot as a child.”

Realization slowly dawns in Richard’s eyes. “I remember now,” Richard says with a nod. “I used to see you in my dreams.”

“Yes and you called me Mr. Man.”

“Strange.”

“No,” Shadda/Mr. Man says, walking to sit beside me on the bed. “There was nothing strange about appearing to you that way.”

Richard appears not to have heard anything that has been said. “You came every night and sometimes I thought I could even see you in the room when I woke up.”

“I was always there.”

I have my own questions for the being sitting beside me with a crooked smile.

“What about the curse?”

Shadda/Mr. Man waves the question aside. “It wasn't really important. The men lost their lives because of retribution called up by their actions.”

I am confused now. “So why did you bring us together? Why did I perform the cleansing rites to stop the curse from claiming his...” I stop to look at Richard and then turn back to the being beside me, “soul and his father’s soul.”

“I had a directive to bring you both together.”

“To what end?”

Shadda/Mr. Man sighs in frustration and shakes her/his head. “I have to belong to the higher realm to know that. You need to summon Michael, Uriel and the others of that realm to find out the answers to that question.”

“Can I?”

I get an amused laugh before the words, “You are so ambitious.”

I sigh and straighten my legs out before me. “I am still confused.”

I get an affectionate pat on the back.

“I know.”

Shadda/Mr. Man stands up and does a stretch.

“Anyway, I have to go check on Toju now.”

Taking one step towards the door, the male guide is transformed into a gypsy skirt wearing female guide with tightly plaited braids. Shadda is back. She stops at the door and gives us a wink before leaving the room.

Richard shakes his head and drags his hand down his face. “I still feel like I am in that twilight zone. This has to be a dream.”

I walk to meet him on the sofa and get comfortable on his laps. “It is not.”

There is a moment’s silence as Richard ponders on the day’s events.

“My mother gets miraculously healed, I talk to your reflection and a spirit walks through the window.”

“Mmm hmmm.”

“These things don’t happen everyday.”

I agree with a nod, running my nails along the side of Richard’s neck. I stop when I notice that Richard is looking at me strangely.

“Did you just say something now?”

It is my turn to look at Richard strangely. “No.”

“I thought I heard someone talking.”

I look around the room. “Where?”

“I don’t know. It sounded real close.”

Richard peers closely at me again. “I heard that voice again.”

“What did it say?”

“Is he hearing my thoughts?”

I clasp my hands over my mouth.

“You just said, no!”

I tense in horror. “You can hear my thoughts.”

Richard buries his face into my neck. “No, God please. I know you are out there, thanks but no, take this thing back. I don’t need it,” Richard pauses and looks upwards. “Thank you in advance.”

The surprise gone, I look at Richard in amazement. “You don’t want the gift?”

Richard shakes his head no. “I don’t. I like surprises. Hearing what people think is going to send me over the...edge.”

“This must have happened because you saw Shadda.”

Richard nods. “Maybe.”

Cupping his face in my hands, I look deeply into his eyes. “Try reading my mind again.”

After minutes of returning my probing stare, Richard shakes his head and smiles at me.

“I can’t hear a thing. Are you thinking at all?”

I smile, drop my hands from his face and lean back. “Your wish has been granted,” I tell him as I bat my lashes at him. “I was thinking about a lot of....naughty things.”

“Ugh,” Richard says, making a face at the ceiling. “Give me back my gift.”

I laugh and stand up from his laps. “Now there are no more secrets between us.”

Richard stands up and sweeps me off my feet. “Amen.”

I feel the soft mattress behind my back as he lowers me to the bed. His kiss is passionate when his lips find mine, and I lose myself in it. We break apart for air minutes later.

“I just realized that maybe I love you.”

I look at his lips and give him a sultry gaze. “Maybe?”

Richard laughs at my flirting. “Siren.”

“Make up your mind,” I tell him, lifting my head to kiss him again. When it all over, Richard rolls on his back and says,

“Okay, fine. I love you.”

I pump my fist in the air. “Yes!”

Richard laughs. “I told you I was going to take off soon.”

I curl against Richard’s side and release a long blissful sigh. “Yes, you did.”



                                           ****************************************



Toju is doing everything to grab the phone in his grandmother’s hands. I distract him by making threatening noises. He gives me a bored look and goes back to terrorizing his grandmother. When all fails, he begins to moan in complaint. I shake my head as she relents and hands him the phone. Squeaking in victory, my son waves the phone at me and clamps his wet mouth over the phone.

“You know it felt so real,” my mother in law says, going back to her story. “It was as if I was really back in Nigeria. I could see every detail. Your office, my house....everywhere.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

I remember how she floated around my office that afternoon with Shadda. “It must have been a strange experience.”

“Oh it was,” she says and then looks down to see Toju making a crying face because her phone has just slipped from his hands. I stand up from my seat and stick the pacifier in my hand into his mouth. “Ah, be careful with that now. You don’t want him having speech problems later.”

“I use it sparingly,” I inform Richard’s mother, claiming my seat again.

My mother in law is adamant. “I think you should just get him his teething toy.”

I make a face at my son, and the corner of his lips stretch in a smile. I roll my eyes and stand up to get him the light brown rubber giraffe his grandmother bought for him some months back. When I return, he is happy to be free of the pacifier and grabs the giraffe as soon as I extend it to him.

The distraction taken care of, my mother in law and I go back to talking about her near death experience. She tells me of meeting strange beings, of seeing through houses, of walking through walls and hearing the thoughts of people, of walking through a tunnel and seeing a bright light. She tells me of a tall woman in white that spoke to her in a kind voice. In the end, she is happy to have a chance with Richard.

“I remember looking at the light and thinking, please give me a second chance with my son.”

So in that living room in the small estate at Lekki, Lagos, dreams came true, love blossomed and the alternate universe existed side by side this one as Shadda sat and listened in the corner. I am yet to get the gift of seeing the future, but I have faith in love, God and the guides who are assigned to every human soul. I know whatever lies ahead is for the good of all involved. This is my story. This is my life.